Flashback Friday...Six degrees to Dinwiddie

I've been to Arizona twice to visit Ruby (Dinwiddie) Lawson.

And most of you got to meet her during her visit to, um...Dinwiddie...

(Ruby at Sunday dinner)

but I have yet to officially explain why you should know her or care about her.

Have you heard of the game "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon?"
It was devised, when Kevin Bacon said he had worked with everyone in Hollywood or someone who's worked with them. Meaning, if you name an actor, you can probably get back to Kevin Bacon within six steps.

Well, it works with our ancestors and relatives too.
Especially on the Vandercar/Tilton side.
I've been meaning to chart this out, but didn't want to see Dave's eyes roll back in his head.
And honestly, with this one, even my eyes get a little crossed (reading about cousins)  and trying to figure out just how many ways Ruby is related to us.

Simply put: 

Ruby is our cousin.

or a little more detail:

Ruby is our first cousin, once removed:

Bob (our Dad), Gladys and Ruby are/were first cousins because....

   Bob's mom, Fern Tilton (our Grandma) and Ruby's mom, Phebe Tilton (our Great Aunt) were sisters.

 If you remember Aunt Phebe:

this might explain why Ruby looked familiar to you!

But that's not the end of the game.

There are a few more interesting degrees to add.

Those sisters? Fern and Phebe?

Fern married George Vandercar (our Grandpa)...and had Bob.

Phebe married Keith Dinwiddie (our Great Uncle)...and had Ruby.

What I did not know, is........and stick with me here, Dave...

Keith Dinwiddie's mother's name was Alice Shurte.

Alice

George Vandercar's mother's name was Hattie Shurte (our Great Grandma).

Hattie

Alice and Hattie were sisters.

(look for #13 and #14)

Alice married a Dinwiddie...and had Keith.

Hattie married a Vandercar and had George.

This made Keith and George first cousins.

So, not only is Ruby related to us on the Tilton side because of Fern and her sister Phebe,
but also on the Vandercar side, because of Great Grandma Hattie and her sister Alice.

On a side note:
Grandpa George had a sister named Lulu.
(she opens up a whole other, double related, mind bending scenario...which I will save for another Friday).

I mention Aunt Lulu to explain to you yet another reason why Ruby may have looked familiar to you.

Because Ruby looks a lot like Aunt Lulu...

...who looked a lot like Great Grandma Hattie.

I have no idea what that makes Ruby to us on the Vandercar side.
I'll have to call in the professionals on that one.

So there is your Six degrees to Dinwiddie answer in case anyone asks.
You're Welcome.

Can someone go wake up Dave and tell him I'm done talking about this now?


Directions to here:

This isn't even taking into consideration that Grandpa and Grandma lived in Dinwiddie (at the farm where the truck stop is now) and that many of you still live close by there. Just another degree to add to the game!

Flashback Friday...Our Dad...the long and short version.

When I think of my dad as "Dad" and not the "Grandpa" stage of his life, I have two versions in my memory...and they revolve around the length of his shirt sleeves.

I think I was probably 12 or 13 before I ever saw him wear short sleeves in public. And it wasn't until the late 70's that I ever saw him go anywhere without a cap on his head.

When I was little, He was always dressed for work: either at the Station or Farming.

This picture shows this perfectly.

The Farmer in the Mobil uniform shirt.

His hands and face were darkly tanned.

But his arms and top of his head were untouched by the sun.
That was, until he retired.

In his post Log Cabin life, he turned that tan into a normal farmer's tan by wearing short sleeves during long hours of fishing in Florida.

So there's the long and short of my two versions of "Dad." 

I suppose most of us remember him this way:

as Dad and/or Grandpa (Papa) Bob

But, if I have to sum up my memory of him in one picture...

this one is a favorite and might be it.

No matter what version,

I love and miss him on Father's day and everyday.

Happy Flag Day!

Flashback Friday...Twister

Back in January, I re-watched the movie Twister.
This was the third time seeing it.
The first was on the big screen in the theater...in which one of the key scenes involving a semi-truck, was ruined for me, due to loud talkers coming out of the theater.
The second time was watching it on a tiny screen with a wide-eyed South African named Heidi.
I remember after one of the first scenes with a tornado in it, she turned to me and said,
"this movie, where does it take place?"
I answered, "Oklahoma."
to which she asked with a little bit of fear in her voice,
"and this, (insert South African accent) Ok-la-ho-ma?, How far is it from In-di-an-a?"
I could tell there were certain American experiences that she was hoping not to partake.

But I'll tell you, after watching it the third time and then watching just a couple months later the REAL live heartbreak and destruction that this force of nature can bring....I'm not sure if I'll ever want to watch the movie again.

Especially after learning via Facebook that my family was undergoing the threat of dark skies last weekend.
I THANK GOD no one was hurt.
I am sad to see the pictures tho, especially the trees and the landscape that we grow so fond of seeing and enjoying. (see Sister Susie's FB folder named "Storm")

I was in Indy and missed the storm, so I have no first hand story.

And I knew that some day I would post the following pictures, but never knew or imagined or wanted to be linking this Flashback Friday to a current event.

I went thru this storm, I think. But have no memory of it...or first hand story. I believe I must have been cradled in someone's arms...and whoever you were, I thank you.
So, I'll just post the pictures with the captions that were written by my parents and brothers and sisters and I'll let your comments and your memories tell the story of the:

 It must have made quite an impression on these caption writers!

 Directions to here:
What do you remember about the Storm of '65?

Flashback Friday...a Long Line of Strong Circles.

I've been thinking about this one long before I wrote last Friday's story about Erin.

It's a hard one to write.

What I didn't tell you about meeting Erin was the complex emotions that swirled around in my head the whole time I was at the hospital.

Most delivery days are full of expectation, baby wonder, and hope.

I love the thought of being able to tell my nieces and nephews: "I was there the day you were born." and "I've known you your entire life."

I am in awe of those little lives that are less than hours old.

"Brand New" as mom used to laugh about. "Brand New Baby." I don't know why she got such a kick out of that phrase...but she did.

It's hard to comprehend what it means...to meet someone who has their entire lives are ahead of them and only minutes behind them.

When it meets the 24 hour mark, I often say: "you are 1 day old."

At the week: "you are 1 week old."

I love saying it, cause it is so special and will never happen again.

One of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite songs, from one of my favorite bands...says...

"I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself, to hold on to these moments as they pass...."
(counting crows, a long december).

That line has run through my head hundreds of times.
It was there when I said goodbye to someone I love with all my heart.
I heard it frequently when I watched my mom fight for her life, knowing that someday she was going to have to leave me before I was ready for her to go.
It is engrained in my head...it is on the soundtrack of my life. I try to live my life...aware that the moments are fleeting and that I need to hold on to them and experience every second of those moments that take our breath away.

But...in reality, we get busy.
We often don't know what moments we are going to wish we held onto. It's only after they pass by us that we remember and wish we would have been more present or had more moments.

And honestly it is a line that I mostly equate with inevitable endings, leavings, goodbyes and death...
Not at a baby's arrival into the world...where there are SO MANY moments ahead of them.....

That was, until I read the heartbreaking news that James and Shel found out at their last ultrasound.

That news followed me to the hospital and...


There I was, looking at Erin's tiny little face...

...and realizing...that even tho she has her whole life ahead of her...nothing....NOT ONE MOMENT....is guaranteed to us.
So, I held her and I held my breath at the same time....and just looked.

I tried to hold her and see her, really see her and study her like I would not ever see her again.

I tried to imagine not having many moments....and to really "Hold on to these moments as they pass."

And honestly, it was all a little too overwhelming...and I still don't know, How.

How.

How does one?

How will they?

I can only imagine that it will be like the story I told mom the night before her first dialysis treatment...of Corrie Ten Boom and her father .

That Grace will be there.
Not before.
But only and right when we need it.

Grace to help in time of Need.
(Hebrews 4:16)

That is the Truth I hear in my head, but in my heart...
I still wonder.

But when there are things I cannot fathom, I usually turn to my heroes and I look to and learn from the past. Our past.
I stop and say:
"what would my mom do?"
"What would my mom say?"

And in looking to our past.
Our family's past;
 I find that our family has had it's fair share of heartbreak when it comes to babies who have had far too few moments.

Even before Shel's news...

I noticed when I was reading the Kenney geneaolgy book...there had to have been a lot of sorrow and heartache for our ancestors.

I did not know that:

Aunt Lulu lost not one, but 3 infant babies. Her daughter Ruth lost her first born as well.
Uncle Guy Tilton's 2nd grandchild died at birth.
Aunt Phebe's first born died at one month old.
Uncle Ralph and Aunt Iris' first born died as a baby.

I did know that:

Grandma Bryant's first son died at one month.
And Aunt Gladys' 2nd girl, Barbara Gay, lived just one day.

I read these names and dates in the book that Ruby wrote and they look so simple in black and white type.

But, the sorrow, pain and untold stories that lie between the lines of those names is, to me, unfathomable.

Iris, Lulu and Phebe

But, they survived.
They made it through and lived and grieved and loved and laughed and I suppose, learned to "hold on to the moments as they passed."

How?

How did they?

Faith?
Grace?
Hope?
Love?

It appears that...

Our Family has been and is a Circle of Strength and Love
With every Birth and Union the Circle has and does grow
Every joy shared has and does add more love
Every crisis faced together has and does
make the Circle Stronger.

My intention in writing this is not to take away the wonderful joy of having a newborn in the family.
Continue to MARVEL and hope and ooh and ahh...away.
I am not trying to dwell on the past or fret for the near future.

It is simply to find a map.
A map for the great journey of life, no matter how long or how short our moments may be.
To know that someone in our family has been there before.
Our Mothers, Fathers, Grandmas, Grandpas, Brothers, Sisters, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins....have walked this road and survived. I don't know how, but they did.

I find great comfort in this and I can only hope and pray that it brings comfort and grace to help our family in time of need.

And remember, Hold on to those moments as they pass.